Sunday, October 10, 2010

Where has the romance gone?

According to an article produced by, possibly the largest internet dating site in the world, us women have changed our attitudes to dating. We are no longer looking for a knight in shining armour  instead we are looking for someone low key and who wants to settle down. Can this really be true, has romance died out totally and if so what was the straw that broke the camels back?
Pragmatic dating does seem to be all around us though. I also read this week that the most romantic gesture these days is usually an SMS or a Facebook posting. Bad news for the flower and gift card shops!
I can't help thinking though that this report must have been aimed at the older age group. At 42 I am sceptical beyond belief about matters of the heart etc but I refuse to believe that as a whole our cynicism with romance has been passed down to the younger generation in such a way that they do not even dream of the grand gesture. Maybe the internet generation are so used to instant gratification that it doesn't even occur to them that there is another way? Will this save them any heartbreak and anxiety along the way? Probably not, after all it is a rite of passage but what it does mean to all us oldies that once again the teenagers will be right when they say that we can never understand their angst. For that I am glad though because if anybody tries romancing me by sending me a virtual bunch of flowers on Facebook instead of buying the real deal( actually I hate flowers so skip that idea totally) or God forbid wants to dump me via text message then be prepared for a grand gesture Google style. Google will show me your house, tell me what web sites you visit,show me who your friends are, the list goes on. Actually now I come to think about it this non romantic pragmatic dating thing is quite fun!!


  1. Oh come on! Romance is fun - and will be ever-present. Under one condition: that we pass on the torch :) Me (being 42) and a mother of 2 males I find it a certain obligation to teach my sons how to be - and expect - a healthy dose of a 'softer approach' towards the girls that are special for them, incl. the good-old 'can I carry your school bag while walking you home?'. And it works - as they occasionally report back.

    Until not so long ago I used to consider myself incurably romantic - although pragmatic, being a single mother of 2. Nevertheless I feel that with age I am getting more cynical, ironical, seeing often annoying, repetitive patterns, having a serious issue with unconditional trust - especially being stuck professionally (ha ha) in the corporate world. What that brings is - of course - some disappointment yet also many an occasions for a sigh or a google - ups: giggle! Mostly, thanks to the bits of self irony I got from my Mom. Thanks Mom!

    Have to admit I myself am guilty of sneaking a peek (or two, or three) in the Internet on That Interesting Guy That I had a Chat With Today At/In The ....... (fill in what appropriate).

    Makes me think this modern 'victim access' you describe is rather a first step to ... stalking rather OR a … perfect payback? Classic style.


    PS1. How on Earth can you not fancy getting flowers? Your religion forbids?

    PS2: Shit - I know I am pathetic, but I HAVE been dumped by text message. And by email. By the same man.

  2. Some interesting points Joanna but...nah, not having any of it. Am working my way nicely to becoming the dotty old spinster with the house full of cats!


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